A letter from my FUTURE self...

Dear Mackenzie,

I am writing you to let you know of some of the things that have happened in your life, and to offer any help or advice I might have. First off, this life has been incredible in so many ways. The dreams you have right now are in the making. All of them may not manifest, but those disappointments will be replaced with dreams that are so big you couldn’t have possibly thought them up yourself. Don’t be sad when something doesn’t happen. This is one of my biggest tokens of advice I have for you: don’t ever be disappointed or angry that something is not happening how you think it should or how it should have happened in the past. Everything that has happened, is happening, or will happen is exactly as it should be. Don’t constantly dwell on the past because you think it could have worked out differently, because that is 100% NOT TRUE. Even if you had the opportunity to go back in time and change details that you think would alter that bad thing from happening, it would not have worked. That event will manifest itself no matter what circumstance may have led to it. It is inevitable. Accept things as they happen and do not push against them because it only makes it harder. God is in control whether you understand your situation or not.

I know that you are currently becoming very aware of this fact and I am proud of you for opening your mind to new thoughts. There was a time when you gave up on God. Now you see that he never gave up on you, and thank goodness for that. You went through a very hard time where you lost yourself in so many ways. Don’t be ashamed of that time, because remember, it was supposed to happen that way. Look at you now. Look at how far you have come. I can’t wait for you to see how much farther you’ve come when you reach me in this point of time. You will be thrilled at your potential. Keep listening to your sermons, your spiritual teachings, keep meditating and praying, keep reading your books and writing your thoughts. These things will always keep a light in your life no matter how dark it may get. Listen to others with an open heart. We are all the same in the end and we deserve the same respect. Do all things with love. Listen to people and be there for them, because you could be the last person they ever speak to again. Help people whenever you can. When God gives you something, share it with others and you will have an endless supply of whatever you were given.

All the love you will ever need you can give to yourself. When the love of your life comes along, he will share in it with you. I know you are wondering if you will ever be married. The answer is yes. I am happily married and have been for a very, very long time now. Marriage seems dreamy and wonderful to you right now, but remember, it is hard work. It’s a full time job but it is the most rewarding job there is. He is an incredible man. He will never treat you badly or make you feel like you are not enough. He will never cheat on you. He will never treat your family and loved ones badly. He will never speak ill of you. He has always been an inspiration to be. He’s always been my biggest fan. He does an amazing job at being a husband and provider. We have been through hard times but I never once doubted our love for each other. It seems to grow stronger as the days go on. We have a connection that is undeniable, almost magnetic. You need to let go of those past hurts and learn to love again or he will pass right by you. Trust me, he is something you don’t want to miss. Like I said, there have been hard times, but there have also been so many incredible times. Moments that are what storybooks are made of. They are dreamy and powerful but don’t ever let them pass by without notice. These moments will be gone someday and all you will have are the memories when you lose him. Make sure you appreciate every moment. That goes for your family as well. I know how deeply you love your family and I know you understand their love for you also. As family, we get on each other’s nerves because we are always surrounded by each other, but you don’t have them forever. You will move away soon and they will not be around you as often. The years will pass by faster and faster. Appreciate every second with them. Take pictures and videos to remember them. Hug them a few seconds longer. Do nice things for no reason. Tell them you love them more often. They have always been here for you and they deserve to know how much they are loved before they pass. When your parents get sick and can’t take care of themselves anymore you need to appreciate every moment you have when taking care of them. Treat them like royalty because your time with them is running out. I know that you are pretty lousy at expressing your love for people and it seems to be a big obstacle to overcome, but it needs to be done. The sooner, the better. Don’t let past hurts control the amount of love you give right now. Tear down that wall. Take control of your mind and get over it. Time goes by too quickly.

I want you to forget all your past relationship betrayals. Remember that it happened how it was supposed to. Your boyfriends came into your life to teach you things. Whether it be what kind of person you don’t ever want to date again, or maybe they taught you to realize your potential, or maybe it was to understand that you were just attracting the person you were portraying yourself as- I need you to understand that they were there to teach you valuable things. I need you to learn your lessons and let those pains go. Don’t be ashamed of anything. Be proud of yourself for learning from these pains and growing into a better person. You do a good job of always evaluating yourself and trying to grow in every way possible. That is a good quality that will bring you success in all things. Nothing will keep you down. Just how the lotus flower grows from the mud, you will find a way to prosper in any situation. Have faith in that.

You have a talent and passion for makeup that has been there since you were very young. Just know that this fire was put in you for a reason. Just because people, even loved ones, have cast it aside as just a hobby doesn’t mean they are right. You can help people AND serve the Lord through this dream. Who do you think put this passion in you to begin with? You have tried to push this dream aside for two years now, but it is harder to ignore than you thought. It seems like the longer time goes on, the harder it is to deny and the heavier your spirit feels. You can blind fold your passion, drive it to the other side of the country, smack it in the head, and throw it in the woods but after a while it will find its way back and make itself known again. It will nag at you until you finally cave, and that is what has happened recently in your life. I know it feels good to be back doing what you love. Let me tell you, it only gets better from here. Keep working and perfecting your skills and you will go very far. You CAN make a career out of this. Things are happening just as they should.

Stop trying so hard to discover your purpose in life. If you keep chasing it, you will probably never find it. Just like a dog chases its own tail but can never seem to catch it, but in reality it was connected to him all along. Your purpose was designed by God specifically for you, so it has an obligation to make itself known to you. Stop worrying so much that you won’t find it.

Learn to be a friend. Yes, I have friends right now, very good friends. I know you are curious. It’s hard for you to be a friend and it seems to be getting worse with age. Here’s a tip: find ways to connect on some level with every person you meet. Compliment people. Listen to people. These are ways to connect. And don’t just do it once and then not do it the next time you see them. This has to be a constant process. It will get easier as time goes on and you will have more to talk about with people. Don’t be afraid that people will think you are strange or awkward. Embrace the person you are and let people see your genuine spirit. That will make you a joy to be around. Genuine behavior is contagious and it’s a wonderful thing to see these days. Have faith in yourself.

Don’t ever forget to thank God for the things you have. I know you do a good job of that right now but please continue to be grateful everyday for the rest of your life. Your life is immensely blessed and always will be. Yes, bad things happen, but things can always be much worse. Thank God even when you are in the middle of a storm- or I should say ESPECIALLY when you are in the middle of a storm. He will always guide you through it. He will be your shield and those storms are much easier to face when he is protecting you.

Get excited for the future. You will travel to different places around the world, you will have wonderful experiences and meet amazing people, you will do things you never thought you could do, you will have the cozy little house overlooking the mountains that you’ve always wanted, you will meet the love of your life, you will be financially well off very soon, and most importantly, you will be happy. You will find strength in all the trials you face. You will find a way to see everyday in a good light, even when you just don’t want to. You will see so much beauty and I know that you won’t take any of it for granted.

Forgive people. We all make mistakes, some worse than others. We all go through seasons of life and you must accept the bad seasons along with the good. We are all the same and deserve the same respect. Don’t look down on people. Don’t lie to people. Here’s a biggie: you are a direct representation of God, a physical manifestation of the divine, so when you lie to others or treat them badly or even do yourself any harm, you are actually doing these things to God. And when you don’t forgive others, you don’t deserve forgiveness.

Be careful of your actions and your thoughts. Your thoughts feed your soul. Feed your soul good things. Your thoughts will attract whatever it is that you are thinking, so be mindful. Be very clear of what you want so that you can attract those things into your life. Be humble no matter where life takes you. Don’t ever be jealous of anybody else. All of our paths are different and it’s pointless to get upset when someone seems to be doing better than you. If you are happy for other people’s accomplishments you will have happiness for a lifetime. Don’t ever dismiss your accomplishments or your intelligence to make others feel better. You work hard and you do not need to belittle the things you do because you think people might see you as arrogant. When you dismiss your good works you are dismissing the good works that God has done unto you. Remember that as long as you are alive on this earth, you have a purpose to fulfill. Life is not all about you.

You have always been one to see the best in people. It’s a good quality to have but there is such a fine line when it comes to having relationships with people who have issues. The reason why you have had so much pain in the past with these people is because you jump into their issues with them. This is not good. So here’s the lesson: you can give people what they need and offer help without wallowing in their sadness and problems with them. You think you are saving them by jumping in the hole to help them out, but then you both get stuck and you feel like a fool thinking it would have gone any differently. This is a hard life lesson to learn and it will take practice to not jump in every hole you find, but you can do it. You are strong and now you will find better methods. And keep this in mind: some people don’t want to be saved. You can bring a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

If something is God’s plan, it will be as easy as drifting along with the current. That is how you can tell. If something feels forced or if things keep happening to prevent what you are trying to do, there’s a reason. Don’t ever ignore red flags in any situation. These are your early chances to get out of bad situations. Trust your instinct no matter what. The spirit knows more than the mind and you need to trust that your spirit will always lead you right. Love yourself more than anyone. Fill your cup full so that you can be whole. You can’t fully give to others unless you are whole. Treat yourself how you want to be treated by the person you love, even though he’s not there yet. If you treat yourself how you think you deserve then you will set the standard for the man who comes along to love you. Be patient with God’s timing. Don’t rush things because you’re afraid time is running out. Do things right the first time and save yourself the heart ache.

Realize that you are whole. You are enough and always have been. Nothing you add to yourself will make you better and nothing you take away will make you better than how you are right now. Stop trying to be enlightened because you already are enlightened, you just can’t see it. It’s like looking for that piece of pie in the fridge that you want so badly. You look and look and you just can’t seem to find it even though you know it’s in there. Then someone else comes behind you and says “there it is” and it was staring you in the face the whole time. If you search too hard you end up being counter-productive. Surrender to who you are now and you will find everything you ever needed.

Be patient with yourself. The world is full of people who want to speak badly each other, so you need to be especially sweet to yourself. You are constantly learning and adapting. Just because you don’t do something perfect the first time or even the 100th time doesn’t mean you should be angry with yourself. You are always doing the best you can do with the knowledge you have at that present moment. It’s okay to make mistakes.

Understand that you will meet many people who don’t have your best interest in mind. It’s important to be aware of who you are surrounded by at all times. Be aware of what your spirit is telling you about that person. Our spirit see’s things that we cannot. Some people will want to see you suffer, some will want to use you up until there’s nothing left, some will be the best friends you ever meet, and some people will want to cover your sunshine up with their clouds so that they can tolerate looking at you. If you ever feel uncomfortable about a situation or a person, don’t push those feelings aside so that you can spare their feelings. Too many people do that and it winds up getting them into bad circumstances. You always need to be true to yourself. Do not apologize for being true.

Spend time alone every day. Take some time to be quiet and still. Free yourself from the worries you have. This will keep you healthy mentally and physically for as long as you live. Take care of your body because remember, it’s just a rental. Don’t disrespect it, because it is not yours. Be free as much as you can. Take the time to go out in nature and connect yourself again. Go barefoot in the grass. Wade in the water. Breathe deep. Take in all that nature has to offer. These will be the things you remember when you are about to go on. You won’t remember those cute shoes you bought or your car that everyone is jealous of. You will remember the sensory things and the people you love. These things are what life is all about so take as much time as you need for them.

Your time on this earth is limited. Make every moment count. Don’t hold grudges or be discontent. Live your life how you feel it is supposed to be lived. Pray that God leads you down the right path, always, and don’t let other’s tell you it is the wrong way. Trust your intuition. Be your own number one fan. I hope this letter has given you hope and guidance. You are a wonderful young woman and you should be so proud of yourself. Keep doing what you’re doing. Keep growing yourself in every aspect and just see how far you will go. I love you. See you soon.