Being judgmental is not wrong...

Yes, I know this is a controversial title, but let me explain before you slander my name everywhere. Ever since I was very young I always loved to dress crazy. I chopped my hair off when I was 11 years old and I was the only girl in my grade who wore plaid pants and combat boots to school everyday. Kids made fun of me on a daily basis. There were a few boys who had a running joke about me being the Devil's daughter (even though I was at church twice a week every week). I would walk down the halls and they would scream and run away and laugh. They would kick the back of my chairs in class. Even some of the kids in my Sunday school classes would treat me really horribly. It was a very hard time of my life and I remember crying myself to sleep many nights. I just wanted to dress the way I liked and be who I wanted to be without having to deal with people treating me like dirt. I wanted to be able to go to church and be accepted the way God accepted me, but that wasn't happening. It was a tough pill to swallow. As the years went by I didn't stop dressing this way, but luckily the kids matured. The jokes stopped and when I got into high school I was considered "cool" for dressing the way I did. I had people tell me they wished they could be brave enough to dress the way they wanted. They couldn't be themselves because they're friends wouldn't accept them that way. This always made me so sad to hear. If they're true friends then they should accept you as you are, the REAL you. I remember being out in public all throughout high school and college and having people stare at me like I was doing something horrible- just because of my looks. Sometimes I'd go out with my mom and sister and people would say mean things or give me dirty looks. This made my family furious and a few times they actually acted upon their anger. I would always tell them it's not a big deal. I wasn't lying when I said that. In those few years of middle school I realized that these people weren't wrong for judging me. It's not wrong to be judgmental because it's human nature. How do you think humans have survived this long? If you were a caveman or cavewoman and you came across a very angry-looking animal, you have to decide in that second if you should run or try to kill this thing. This is you using your judgement so you can continue to live. Thank God these cave people had good-enough judgment so that I can be alive to this day. Yes, I know that times are very different, but it's ultimately the same thing. When someone is judging you, don't be upset with them. Be upset with them when they choose to act badly upon that judgment. There's no excuse for denying someone basic human rights because of your judgment. There's no excuse to shoot someone multiple times just because you thought they were reaching for a gun when they were really trying to get you the wallet you demanded from them. There's no excuse for people to constantly put others down because they are not living up to the way you think they should. There's no excuse to drive someone to suicide because they're trying to fit themselves into your judgment. This is the difference. Don't blame anyone for ever judging you, but feel free to be upset when they treat you badly because of this fact. This doesn't mean you should think badly about anyone who is different from you. I believe we all need to see the good in each other instead of always picking out the bad. I'm just saying that we need to be more understanding of ourselves and of others. We're all human and this is just one of those instincts we have. Don't be hard on yourself when you are judging others. Don't be hard on others when they judge you. Recognize it, accept it for what it is, and move forward. And always act with kindness.

Namaste,

Kenzie Lama