Reawakening my sympathy...

One of my biggest prayers lately has been to learn to have sympathy again. For a long time now I've not felt a deep connection to anyone. My sympathy for others got lost somewhere along the way within the past couple of years. I've been very quick to dismiss others feelings or even get angry with people who can't seem to make their lives as good as they could be. Recently, I was taking care of an elderly woman who seemed to have trouble with getting in and out of the wheelchair. She was completely capable of doing this, but the fear she had in her mind would make transferring almost impossible. I found her crying in her bed later that night and I asked her what was wrong. She went on for about 20 minutes about how she was afraid to walk and she didn't know how she was going to take care of herself when she left. Looking at her as my patient, I knew she was capable of much more than she was doing, so I was angry with her being so fearful. All I could think during this time with her was, "There are people who are much worse than you and yet you are crying about your current state?", "She is being ridiculous", "I don't have time to listen to this", "Does she not realize I have other patients to take care of besides her?" When I finally got out of the room I had not consoled her very much. I could tell she was still very distraught. I left her room feeling horrible. Not only did I not provide any comfort at all, but I also completely discarded her feelings and judged her harshly. I didn't want to take the time to help her, I just wanted to get out. That night made me realize how awful I was being. From then on I started praying that God would bring me back to my old, sympathetic, sweet self that I was when I was a child.

Within the past two days I've come across numerous people who I could have easily judged harshly- all of them in retail. These people were not friendly, some of them looked sick and miserable, and one of them literally didn't speak a word to me no matter how hard I tried to converse. I tried to imagine each of these people in their home lives. I tried to think about what was going on with them at work that would make them not want to speak to me. I tried to think about what illness they had. It was shocking to see how easy it was to feel sympathy for these people. I felt my heart softening up to them and I was thankful. It's such a simple thing that I was making so difficult. I was being just like the woman in the wheelchair- not realizing I was completely capable of being sympathetic.

Thank God for another answered prayer. Now let's see how I do when I return to work.

-Kenzie Llama