Applying what I've learned...
Guess who's back? Back again.....Kenzie's back.....tell a friend. Seriously though, I'm sorry I haven't had time to write lately. I asked God to let me be financially well off a few months back and then he blessed me with three jobs. I've been working nonstop and having fun nonstop in between. I've been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend Chris and it's been nothing but good times. We've been together for 5 months now but it feels like we've been together for 5 wonderful years. It's a weird feeling how time can go by so fast and yet so slow at the same time. I feel like I've known him my whole life. It's been a learning experience though. After my year of solitude I learned a lot about how happiness is an inside job and how to not react at everything that happens in your life. It's easy to learn about these things but applying them in real life situations is much trickier. I didn't realize how immature in these lessons I was until I started dating Chris. I've done fairly well so far but I've definitely had my moments. There have been times where I found myself getting angry with him because he didn't say goodnight to me (because he accidentally fell asleep) and there have been times where I have gotten annoyed because he didn't react the way I thought he should. I've been annoyed or upset because he doesn't act the way I think he should act. Thankfully I was always able to step back from the situation and remind myself of what I had learned last year. I can't ever expect him to act or react just as I want him to. I can't ever expect him to have me as the center of his attention at all times. Luckily he's a great man and he never makes me feel bad about these moments. He's extremely understanding and loving and I'm so grateful for the person he is. It's interesting what a difference it makes when two whole people come together to be in a relationship. Things work so much easier and there's a lot more peace. You don't have to worry about pleasing the other person all the time. You don't have to pay attention to the other person all the time (but most of the time you like to). You don't have to act a certain way or look a certain way for them to want to be with you. You can do nothing and it's the most fun you will ever have. You know that you don't have to contribute anything to the other person, but you want to because you love to make their life easier and happier at all times.
I should reiterate something really quick. I say that I'm whole but that's not always the case, or I wouldn't have moments like these. Most days I'm whole. Like Abraham Hicks says, most days I'm on my high flying disk and some days I wake up and fall right off. The point is that I try and I will always try. I will never be perfect and that's okay. I don't expect perfection from anyone else if I can't do it myself.
I'm thankful for the past couple years. They have taught me more than I've ever learned. I'm glad that I have someone in my life to apply my lessons to. When I get in a situation I don't like, I am able to stop and say "thank you" to the universe for allowing me to apply my lessons to a real life scenario
. I'm excited about our future as separates and as a couple. It's nice being happy on my own and having someone to share in it with me. This is the kind of love I have always wanted. Sorry if I haven't written much lately, I've just been busy enjoying life while it happens.
